Here's the thing: I find that I cannot seem to call the main character of CBS's Elementary by the name "Sherlock Holmes."
I discovered this last night as I tried live-tweeting the latest episode. The proper nouns "Sherlock" and "Holmes" would just not come off my keyboard together in reference to that guy. Whatever the reason, be it his wrong height, wrong face, wrong city, or wrong accent . . . I'm no Henry Higgins, but that speech pattern definitely hails from a non-Sherlock part of England . . . the label "Sherlock Holmes" just will not stick on Jonny Lee Miller in my mental connections.
But I had to call the main character of the show I was tweeting about something, so I soon settled on "Mr. #Elementary," which added the hashtag as well and saved me a few letters. But it made me start pondering: what do I call this guy?
Sherlocky Lee Holmes? (It is the actor's interpretation.)
El Kaburn? (Due to his treatment of stringed instruments.)
Hobo Sherlock Holmes? (C'mon, doesn't he look like a hobo?)
Chachi Holmes? (As in "Joanie Loves Chachi," an equally fine example of televised entertainment.)
Gregson's little buddy? (When Gregson is around, Mr. Elementary just seems "special" to me.)
Reichenbach Body Double Holmes? (Too long, but Benedict Cumberbatch has to have some way to have survived that fall, doesn't he?)
Elock Stones? (Weak JLM's old show mash-up.)
Future Severed Head? (C'mon, Joan, pull an O-ren Ishi on Oren Goodchild! That dual Oren thing is just weird, by the way.)
Barker from the Surrey Shore? (Oh, so perfect, given Miller's birthplace, but probably too Canonical for most folks to get.)
I really think I'm going to be sticking with "Mr. Elementary." It reminds me of "Mr. Mycroft," from the days when the Doyle copyrights kept F.H. Heard from doing outright pastiches. But if you get a better idea, let me know.
Because I'm still not calling that ragamuffin "Sherlock Holmes."
(Hey, wait a second . . . do you think he could actually be a grown-up Irregular posing as Holmes, and that Benedict Cumberbatch will show up in the third or fourth season and call him out? Oh, man, that would be a glorious day!)