A really offensive term for Elementary fandom came into my head again today. I'm sure I'm not the only one to think of this particular title/fan-commentary mash-up. It seems just a little too perfect for usage by haters of the show. But I'll never know, because I'm not going to ever be using it in a documentable forum. So why mention it at all?
Well, just to serve as an opening warning to all said fans of said Elementary. It's just been that kind of day. The kind of day when you just want to find a socially acceptable outlet for taking out all of life's frustrations and proceed to . . . ah, but we're all civilized beings here. We can deal with problems without kicking the neighborhood dog. Or "The Hound of the Cancer Cells," as the mangey pooch that wandered into my living room this evening was identifying itself.
What does it say about any nominal Sherlock Holmes production when one finds one's self truly and sincerely missing Inspector Lestrade?
"Detective Bell, Joan Watson, and a paint can shaker!" Karnak proclaimed as he touched the long envelope to his forehead this week.
"Detective Bell, Joan Watson, and a paint can shaker," Ed McMahon faithfully repeated.
The end of the envelope is torn off, a bit of breath to blow the two sides apart, and Karnak reads the contents:
"What elements comprise the opening moments of this week's Elementary?"
For you young whipper-snappers out there, that's the kind of comedy that was on The Tonight Show, two guys before Jimmy Fallon. It's also a curious beginning to another CBS procedural drama. For that's what the Bell/Watson opening to tonight's Elementary brings out: the procedural color of its eyes. One can almost imagine Gregson, Bell, and Watson as the core of a homicide squad, with a quirky British sort added for color.
If the paint shaker wasn't random enough, for some reason, Mr. Elementary is keeping his voice to low tones this week, not so excitable and squeaky as it's been in the past. He seems calmer than he's been in . . . forever. In some scenes, Joan Watson is even louder than he is. Curious. As the episode goes on, it's almost soothing. Detective Bell is speaking very quietly, too. Even the suspects are speaking softly when confronted with their secrets revealed.
It's nice that this relaxing police procedural show titled its episode in tribute to a Sherlock Holmes novel. But that's not enough to keep me watching past the midway point this week. Goodnight, gentle police procedural show. I hope you catch your killer. I just can't bring myself to care who he is.
Did I mention that CBS has announced that Elementary has been renewed for a third season today? Yep. It's been that kind of day.