Ah, Howard, it's not even worth complaining about any more.

There are about eighty Canonical characters whose names begin with "M," first or last. And here's the funny part: None of them are "March." So as a "nod" to the one true Watsonian Canon, the writers of CBS's Elementary, felt it appropriate to ignore all eighty or so actual "M" names from the Canon, most of which haven't been used by any TV Sherlock show, and go with one that isn't in the original sixty stories.

Yeah, that makes sense.

In case you were wondering, "M" isn't the most common name-starter in the Canon. At a rough count, it looks like "S" has it beat out, so "Smith" would actually be a good name to use as a "nod" to the Canon . . . especially as it is actually IN the Canon.

And so we begin the third season of the show that can make a Sherlockian go "Huh? What? That's still on?"

It is.

Imagine a world where Sherlock Holmes fought Moriarty at Reichenbach (except he didn't) and then, after spending a long while away from London, came back and found Dr. Watson solving murders for Scotland Yard . . . and the Yard feeling no urgency to replace Watson with their former consultant. And Holmes brought a new buddy back with him, and that buddy and Watson swatted at each other with sticks for a bit.

There's more to it than that, because it's all about the relationship, really. A relationship between a guy that's supposed to be good at something and his apprentice, who is of the opposite sex, as all of his apprentices seem to be, so there can be a sort of non-sexual tension of some sort.

Yeah, I just don't get it. I used to find this show slightly offensive on several planes, not the least of which was calling a character "Sherlock Holmes" who had little more than an English accent to back up that claim. But at this point, as it has wandered around and found its own . . . something . . . well, it's just so far from having anything to do with Sherlock Holmes as I've always known him that it's not even irritating any more. It's just sort of . . . "Oh, that . . . ."

And Forever is on now. Pity they didn't call that guy "Sherlock Holmes," running around all immortal with Judd Hirsch as Dr. Watson running an antique shop. It would have made just as much sense, but been so much more charming.