E3:2. The Kitty Klucks Klan.

'Tis the night of Elementary and all through the web, Jonny Lee and Lucy were discussing Holmes and Watson going to bed . . . .

We'll call that case "The Advenure of No Comment," and move along. There's actual Thursday night investigating to be done, and even references to ye olde Canon to consider. "The Five Orange Pipz" is the episode at hand, and a character named "Elias Openshaw" is even here to play. (Though one would think "Eliaz Openzhaw" might be more appropriate.)

In any case, the non-romantic triangle between Mr. Elementary, Joan Watson, and Kitty Winter is beginning to blossom, with the former two acting like uncomfortable ex-lovers. Elias Openshaw, it turns out, was involved in the manufacture of children's beads with toxic components (the "Pipz") which someone seems to have murdered him for revenge over. Canonical "in name only" reference of the week, checked off.

Remember that fiery, flame-like, vengeful Kitty Winter of "The Advenutre of the Illustrious Client." That's good. She was cool, wasn't she? Just wanted to remember that for a moment, while Elementary is on a commercial break.

While Mr. Elementary grills a jailed supspect, we get occasional shots of Elementary's Miss Winter looking on, showing subtle emotion. No lines. But she cares.

"What do you think of her, the new you . . . Kitty?" detective Bell asks Joan Watson. Before he goes on to remark how "this new girl" doesn't seem stable. Mr. Elementary and his girls. The subtle sexism of this show is astounding, when it's subtle. The whole point of this episode is not the mystery story -- it's to turn up the heat on the Mr. Elementary/Miss Winter/Miss Watson triangle. And the way it plays out is pretty awful.

It's like an asexual version of the abusive male who sleeps with the girl he can have while pining after the girl he can't have, verbally abusing the girl he's having sex with while awkwardly trying to slip back into bed with the one he really wants. Except "sex" is replaced with "detectivework," in a shadow-play that seems less vivid and colorful than everyday life.

In the one true Canon, Kitty Winter is found by Sherlock Holmes after she's been abused by a man who seems to think ill treatment of women is a hobby. She helps Holmes attempt to stop the pattern of abuse, going to extreme measures when early attempts fail. On Elementary, the woman to stop the serial abuser hasn't exactly showed up yet.

Except Mr. Elementary, as he explains himself to Joan Watson, is helping Kitty with her issues by helping her channel them into detectivework. So he's really a therapist, not an abuser. After all Joan Watson, once a surgeon turned substance-abuse companion, is now a successful detective, has been helped with her failed surgeon issues, hasn't she? Ask any narcissistic abusive sort, and he'll always tell you exactly how he's helping all those poor souls around him. Just like Mr. E.

Maybe someday someone with some actual therapeutic skills will come along and help Joan get back to medicine and Kitty get back to . . . well anything but assisting NYPD, which apparently just needs to hire better cops and get off this consultant kick.

Sigh. Well, that's over for another week.