At Least One Hundred and Five Shades of Sherlockian Gray.

Occasionally, one gets a very dull week Sherlock-wise. True, one could go on-and-on about that last little thing, or maybe actually dive back into the Canon, but eventually one starts getting truly desperate. Like "Maybe I should go see Fifty Shades of Gray at the theater and look for Sherlockian references!" desperate. But that road leads to sheer insanity, and besides that, I hadn't seen Will Smith in Focus yet.

But given what I had heard about the dismal literary level of the novel Fifty Shade of Gray, the thought occurred to me that the Canon of Sherlock Holmes, being of a much higher quality of writing, had to contain many more than fifty shades of gray -- double that number at the very least!

So, in order to amuse myself during this otherwise dull Sherlockian week, I set about a rough enumeration of the shades of gray in the sixty tales of Sherlock Holmes. Nothing sexy about it as you will soon see. Also, I decided to use the Jay Finley Christ abbreviations to those stories to blatantly mock newcomers to the Sherlockian world whose intellects cannot be bothered to suss out that "HOUN" equals The Hound of the Baskervilles. (Yes, mocking. With an evil laugh, even! BWAH-HA-HA! BWAH-HA-HA! HOW I RELISH MY ABBREVIATION SUPERIORITY!)

So, anyway, on with at least one hundred and five shades of Sherlockian gray:

1. Pearly pill gray -- STUD, Part 1, Ch. 7
2. Summer saline alkali dust gray -- STUD, Part 2, Ch. 1
3. Dull earth gray -- STUD, Part 2, Ch. 1
4. Shawl parcel gray -- STUD, Part 2, Ch. 1
5. Background rocks gray -- STUD, Part 2, Ch. 3
6. Wedded hair gray -- STUD, Part 2, Ch. 1
7. Dawn gray -- STUD, Part 2, Ch. 6
8. Sombre dress beige gray -- SIGN, Ch. 2
9. Turban gray -- SIGN, Ch. 2
10. Cold, distant light gray -- SIGN, Ch. 7
11. Portly man's suit gray -- SIGN Ch. 6
12. Side whisker gray -- SIGN, Ch. 9
13. Curly hair thick shot gray -- SIGN, Ch. 11
14. Keen Mortimer eye gray -- HOUN, Ch. 1
15. Common envelope gray -- HOUN, Ch. 4
16. Lawyer head gray -- HOUN, Ch. 5
17. Melancholy hill gray -- HOUN, Ch. 6
18. Boulder gray -- HOUN, Ch. 6
19. Grim impression gray -- HOUN, Ch. 7
20. View of the place gray -- HOUN, Ch. 7
21. Small hamlet gray  -- HOUN, Ch. 7
22. Lonely road gray  -- HOUN, Ch. 7
23. Between age thirty and forty suit gray  -- HOUN, Ch. 7
24. Plume of smoke gray  -- HOUN, Ch. 7
25. Circular rings of stone gray  -- HOUN, Ch. 7
26. Clothes gray  -- HOUN, Ch. 7
27. Stapleton neutral-tinted eye gray -- HOUN, Ch. 7
28. Stone hut gray -- HOUN, Ch. 8
29. Burned letter writing gray  -- HOUN, Ch. 10
30. Wreaths of rain gray -- HOUN, Ch. 10
31. Franklin whisker gray -- HOUN, Ch. 11
32 Dull that goes with green gray -- HOUN, Ch. 11
33. Slope-side shadow gray  -- HOUN, Ch. 11
34. Great bird soaring gray  -- HOUN, Ch. 11
35. Dancing Holmes eyes gray  -- HOUN, Ch. 12
36. Grand meenister hair gray -- VALL, Ch. 2
37. Peculiarly keen Douglas eye gray -- VALL, Part1, Ch.3
38. Moustache gray -- VALL, Part1, Ch. 6
39. Heavy reefer jacket suit gray -- VALL, Part 1, Ch. 6
40. Tweed suit gray -- VALL, Part1, Ch. 7
41. Graybeard gray -- VALL, Part 2, Ch. 3
42. Shepherd's check trouser gray -- REDH
43. Worn gloves gray -- IDEN
44. Harris tweed trouser gray -- IDEN
45. Sharp and penetrating eye gray -- IDEN
46. Long travelling cloak gray -- BOSC
47. Wall gray -- BOSC
48. House on the right gray -- BOSC
49. Blotted ink gray -- TWIS
50. Street dust gray -- BLUE
51. Drawn face gray -- SPEC
52. Premature hair gray -- SPEC
53. Gables gray -- SPEC
54. Lichen-blotched stone gray -- SPEC
55. Long dressing-gown gray -- SPEC
56. Balefully lit eye gray -- ENGI
57. Pavement gray -- BERY
58. Pearl trouser gray -- BERY
59. Carpet gray -- BERY
60. Little roof gray -- COPP
61. Tiled outbuilding gray -- SILV
62. Faded reds gray -- SILV
63. Slate paper gray -- GLOR
64. Archway gray -- MUSG
65. Old footworn stone gray -- MUSG
66. Peculiarly light watery gray -- GREE
67. Steel gray -- GREE
68. Mist gray -- EMPT
69. Dull plumage gray -- DANC
70. Country doctor head gray -- DANC
71. Flannel suit gray -- DANC
72. Old building gray -- SOLI
73. London slate gray -- SOLI
74. Bearded man gray -- SOLI
75. Dark trouser gray -- PRIO
76. Low village gray -- PRIO
77. Limestone boulder gray -- PRIO
78. Haggard woman hair gray -- BLAC
79. Keen gleaming brightly eye gray -- CHAS
80. Anger and mortification gray -- CHAS
81. Wonder hair isn't gray -- MISS
82. Inn Road gray -- MISS
83. Pair of brougham horses gray -- MISS
84. Iron hair gray -- WIST
85. Broad opium-drugged iris gray -- WIST
86. Thick winter curtain of gloom gray -- REDC
87. Grown in the Service gray -- BRUC
88. Sullen, menacing eye gray -- DYIN
89. Cold face with fiery soul gray -- LADY
90. Morning gray -- LADY
91. Ashen gray -- DEVI
92. Irish eye gray -- ILLU
93. Awful London castle gray -- ILLU
94. Straggling beard gray -- BLAN
95. Fierce eye gray -- BLAN
96. Very loud check suit gray -- 3GAB
97. Old gentleman gray -- 3GAB
98. Austere eye gray -- 3GAR
99. Irregular masses gray -- SHOS
100. Stonework gray -- THOR
101. Cold eye gray -- THOR
102. Quick eye gray -- THOR
103. Intense eye gray -- CREE
104. High-stepping carriage horse gray -- SHOS
105. Tinted sun-glasses gray -- RETI

Well, that's that. It occurs to me that Fifty Shades has been around so long that some much quicker sort probably came up with this idea already months ago, but like Sherlockian chronology, sometimes it's just entertaining to do it for yourself.

It's just been that dull a week.