E3:22. The road most travelled.

Before the opening titles in this week's Elementary, we are introduced to two cases for Mr. Elementary.

One, involving the possible theft of the Stanley Cup.

The other, a man who is stabbed on a subway platform.

Now, if John H. Watson were chronicling the cases of Sherlock Holmes and choosing the most interesting for publication in The Strand Magazine, I suspect the former case might have been selected for write-up.

But as Joan Watson isn't picking Mr. Elementary's cases for publication, and the CBS network is just letting the procedural faucet flow, we're going to be treated to a detailed analysis of the subway stabbing. The Stanley Cup business seems to just serve as a comic reason to interrrupt Joan's morning shower at first . . . but wait! The Cup reappears, giving it possible sub-plot status, a role usually reserved for the folks in Joan or Mr. Elementary's social and/or sex lives.

Oh, wait . . . the Stanley Cup subplot is segueing into a Marcus Bell social and/or sex life subplot.

Really? Another boyfriend or girlfriend we'll never see again, even if they make it to a second episode? This show. Tsk.

Here's another thing about Elementary besides its formulaic nature that's always bothered me. Despite all the ballyhoo about a female Watson, it is sooooo sexist. Even anti-women.

Case in point: In a nice male bonding moment at the end of the episode, where Marcus Bell and Mr. Elementary spend an evening pitching playing cards at the Stanley Cup. (Does it get any more male than that?) Mr. Elementary states he'll be having sex in an hour and offers to get a woman for Bell as well. We don't know if the women involved are prostitutes or more of those magical "women who just want appointment sex with no relationship, thanks to mental compartmentalization" that Mr. Elementary lines up to satisfy his urges. In either case, it's pretty much women as commodities, especially when offered to Bell.

Well, even if the main mystery was, as usual, not that compelling, it is always nice to see the Stanley Cup. Few trophies have the personality or legend of that pedestaled punchbowl.

Go Elementary.