Get ready. The best Sherlock Holmes story ever is finally about to enter the Battle Royale.
About Sixty: Why Every Sherlock Holmes Story Is The Best has been a real chance to see Sherlock Holmes's cases put up against the ropes and forced to show us what they're really made of. We've seen some outstanding talent pushed to even greater heights by some skilled and knowledgeable promoters. We have seen massive works of fiction challenged by child-sized portions of literary entertainment. We have seen murderers opposed by domestics, and the familiar favorites versus the rare oddities. But what have we yet to see in this arena? What could still shock and amaze?
Well, no sooner than I ask that question, "The Adventure of the Blanched Soldier" limps down to the ring, accompanied by Dr. Richard J. Sveum. And I know what you're thinking -- we all thought that. "Oh, here's a story with a medical theme and a specialist in that field going to give us an in-depth analysis of skin disease!" BUT, NO! Dick has re-trained "Blanched Soldier" to play up it's secret super-power -- being the one Sherlock Holmes story written by Sherlock Holmes while still working as a detective. And then he tag-teams Holmes and Watson with Dodd and Emsworth, giving the story more strength than I've ever see this "just a medical matter" tale ever have before. Even without Watson present, Dick has managed to his friendship with Sherlock Holmes the key to this tale, and as a result, make this tale more important than any other in the Canon.
BOOM goes the "Blanched Soldier," shaking up this tournament of champions, and surely putting the fear of Holmes into the next case about to enter the ring.
That case, "The Adventure of the Mazarin Stone," had to be the lowest odds-to-win entry in this contest. But Jack Arthur Winn makes it dangerous from the start, and has that old favorite, Billy the page-boy, do a run-in, which none before him tried. Billy is a bit of a Hornswoggle, for those of you familiar with WWE wrestlers, and always adds some fun to the match. The tale is a tiny one, Jack Winn admits, but well deserving of its place among the sixty . . . and that should be good enough for any story.
But is it good enough, for "The Adventure of the Three Gables," charging into the ring being egged on by yours truly? Yes, "Three Gables" is my dog in this fight, and I'm not holding back anything tonight, as much as I might respect or admire any of my fellow promoters. "Three Gables" is simply the best story in this tournament, and will finish out on top! I mean, look a how Watson is taking a hit for the story early in the essay, sacrificing himself to get past the unsavory hurdle of Steve Dixie's portrayal. And Isadora Klein tags in, a woman who could pop off Irene Adler with one delicate hand behind her back on a bad day. Oh, it's just too good, this story! I mean . . .
HEY! WAIT! "The Adventure of the Sussex Vampire" shouldn't be coming in so soon! What's Carlina De La Cova think she's doing, pushing that vampire into the ring before I'm done? And she's even citing another book by Chris Redmond, the guy who organized this tournament! No fair! Watson being all athletic? CLIVE BARKER?!?
I fear I may have over-excited myself with that last one, like a South American lady who may or may not be a vampire. (Is there anything hotter than that, I ask you? Whoa!)
I need to calm down with a Garrideb, and fortunately, "The Adventure of the Three Garridebs" is next up on the program. Tamara R. Bower escorts "Garridebs" to the ring, but far from letting pleasant old Nathan Garrideb set the tone for this next part, Tamara has this tale throwing off its robes in a dramatic flair and revealing it as a shipping extravaganza! Yes, fans, we made it through ninety percent of this tournament before the shipping card got played quite so hard, or maybe just my XY chromosomes are limiting my retention of previous incidences of that thread. In any case, turning "Three Garridebs" into a love story totally throws off the massive testosterone build-up in this battle for the best, and once again, it's a whole new ball game.
And with the end of it all coming soon, who knows what this will mean for our eventual winner?