Sherlo-Eurovision 2023

 Our Sherlockian ties lead us down so many paths we might not have otherwise wandered. This weekend it was the Eurovision 2023 finals, thanks to a certain other Will Ferrell movie besides Holmes and Watson and my friend Paul Thomas Miller's hearty endorsement. And why not?

The twenty-six finalists led off with Austria's "Who the Hell is Edgar?" a song about Edgar Allen Poe, of all people. Since Poe and Austria are both Canonical, I could see I was going to have to favor the songs of Canonically Sherlockian countries. So Austria got points, but not full marks as it appears in "Austrian" in Watson's writings instead of just the country.

Portugual didn't fair much better as Watson's "Portuguese" gets them on the board, but their song just didn't inspire me to give them any extra points for being the "Xango de Baker Street" country.

Switzerland got full Watson name points, and being mentioned by Watson in the same sentence as missing Eurovision favorite Luxembourg helps, but . . . just not charmed by that song.

Awww, Poland isn't Canonical? Pity, I liked the classic pop star vibe on that one.

Serbia gets a partial Watson point for Belgrade being in the Canon, but I've forgotten their song already as I try to catch up. Ditto for France, despite its heavy Watson mentions.

Aw, damn, Cyprus? Why are the non-Watson countries my preferred songs?

Spain is coming on strong, with full Watson points and a strong performance, but I will admit a slight bias toward the English-lyrics songs, so probably not in my top three. Who is already in my top three from the semi-finals? 

Australia! As Canonical as hell, a song that sounded like it was direct from the top forty of some decade past, and then non-prettiest act in the whole show. (Hate to be superficial, but got to give them credit for not being pretty young things in this show.) They haven't been up yet, so I'm eagerly awaiting their return.

Sweden is creeping out the good Carter with her finger-talons, looking like a Swedish were-beastie, and "Swedish" is as close at Watson comes to mentioning Sweden. Kind of a shame, as she's putting on a show.

Okay, side note: Which Canonical character would Hannah Waddingham be best cast as? I can't say Irene Adler, because the idea of Hannah pretending to be a boy seems nigh impossible watching this show. Violet de Merville, maybe? "A wonder-woman in every way." And she could do the ice-cold face-off with Kitty Winter, to be sure.

Poor Albania. Strong performance, no Watson-points.

Okay, Italy is definitely coming off as a "three continents Watson" act. His voice is a little over-whelmed by the volume of the music and back-ups, though, which a notice happens sometimes with these acts.

Estonia suffers the no-Watson points fail, which is sad for a truly class act.

The "Finns" as their Watson qualifications name them, have a truly wacky performance "Cha Cha Cha" that's a real ear-worm. Points to Finland!

Czechia make it into the Canonical competition thanks to Prague's multiple Canonical mentions, and their long-braid sisterhood anthem (I think!) seems to come across despite not being in English. 

Ooo! Australia time! I was hoping their band name "Voyager" might be Canonical, but no luck. They just get me rocking out every time. And I like the "promise me it's gonna be all right" lyric.

"And Belgium?" "Yes, and Belgium, too."  Gustaph and his big hat deserve the full Canonical country reference from "His Last Bow."  So many of my favorite songs in this competition take me back decades, like Belgium's entry, which makes me wonder what the target demographic for Eurovision is.

Armenia falls prey to Watson non-mention, but I have a feeling Watson would like her performance. Would he like Moldova and it's cult-like ritual of a song? I think Watson might feel like Moldova needed Holmes to investigate just what was going on there. And Ukraine, sorry Ukraine. You didn't overcome the Watson mention.

Norway, though. Memorable Canonical mention and a grand epic of a song "Queen of the Kings," which could be Irene Adler's title if you think about it. So solid points to Norway.

With six countries left, I am again amazed, as I was at the semi-finals, just how fast this show moves!

Germany? YIKES! Oh, they're Germany all right. Scary as hell, Canonical as hell, and whose face is tattooed on their singer's one bare leg? Yeah, Germany puts on a show.

And Lithuania . . . trying so hard for a non-Canonical country! And Israel? C'mon, Watson! Nothing in Holmes's cases from Jerusalem or something?  I think Watson would like their entry, dancing and all. 

Slovenia, the good Carter's favorite, get snubbed by Watson too, as far as I can see. I think Sherlock needed to get John more trips around the Continent. Their band name "Joker Out" gets a small nod from "See here, my joker," in VALL.

Croatia has to get an non-Canonical honorable mention for being the weirdest damn thing in a weird night. Hairy military Village People who wind up in their underwear? Real crowd-pleasers in any case. One more song, and who is it? WHO IS IT?

THE MOST CANONICAL COUNTRY OF ALL! The United Kingdom!!!!

Mae Muller starts off inside her own head, which is kind of a Sherlock thing to do. And "the notorious Muller" is Canonical! Britain is giving their Canonical all! 

Paul Thomas Miller is giving it to Germany though, with Finland in second. I honestly don't know who should win. My musical taste stand up to no critical review, as it's mostly based on movie sountracks. If I can't picture a scene in a movie to a song, it just doesn't do it.

Well, the results are a ways off -- going to fix some party food, but posting this now!

POST SHOW UPDATE: Well, Sweden won. But Paul Thomas Miller predicted Finland would rise with the audience vote and they did almost take the crown, being the only act to cross 300 points in audience popularity, so his Eurovision savvy is pretty solid. But at least a Canonical qualifier made it to the top, even though we were hoping for a little closer race in the jury voting. Overall, though, it was a great time and I look forward to next year.