Priest Frightenin'

You might know her as Hatty Doran from "The Noble Bachelor." Me, I call her "Priest Frightenin'!" Let me explain it to you in song.

This bride is . . . sigh . . . volcanic.
She disappeared  . . . in . . . a panic.
Don't be so . . . Pur . . . itanic!
Why, she's Priest Frightenin'!
(Priest Frightenin'!)

You get a California girl, and make sure she's rich, oh yeah!
(St. Simon, go, St. Simon!)
Bring her back to England, and get her to church, oh yeah!
(She'll get you the money! You really need the money!)
She'll walk down the aisle on cue, but who's that in the pew?
I won't say it's revoltin',
But, Hay, Frances Moulton! Priest Frightenin'!

Oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Oh, Priest Frightenin', you're gonna get this thing anulled!
(Priest Frightenin', oh, Priest Frightenin!)
Oh, oh, Priest Frightenin', you're ruining these wedding vows!
(Priest Frightenin', oh, Priest Frightenin'!)
Your bigamy! Makes you run free!
You're Priest Frightenin'!

Oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

This is what happens when you're days away from a Sherlockian event on the other side of the country, and there's madness in the air on a rather large scale. Stress relief takes some odd forms.