S.P.O.D.E., P.O.O.P., and now, N.O.P.E

 Remember that time that Sherlock Holmes thought he'd act all crazy to trap a murderer?

"I cannot think why the whole bed of the ocean is not one solid mass of oysters, so prolific the creatures seem."

And then, "No doubt there are natural enemies which limit the increase of the creatures. You and I, Watson, we have done our part. Shall the world, then, be overrun by oysters?"

Somewhere in the misty New York fog of a Sherlock Holmes birthday weekend, Steven Doyle sat at the head of a table at The Oyster Bar at Grand Central Station and convened a new Sherlockian society based on those words. "We have done our part," Holmes said, and that sort of comment, to any Sherlockian, is apt to inspire emulation. And thus The Society for the Prevention of Oysters Destroying Earth, or S.P.O.D.E. was born.

And, as with the Baker Street Irregulars, scions and sub-groups began to spring up. And somewhere in the mix, as typically happens between American and British Sherlockian/Holmesian worlds, a British version sprang up: People Opposing Oyster Proliferation, of P.O.O.P.

Now, that British society really gets to the heart of what these Sherlockian and Holmesian heroes are doing in following that cause Sherlock Holmes felt worth raving about: Using their own bodies to convert the dreaded oysters into harmless fertilizer. There is no greater sacrifice than using one's own body to further a cause, and I salute them.

But at the same time, I find that I must remain a conscientious objector from that human versus oyster battle. It's just too gross a fight for my more delicate sensibilities. And I know there are others like me out there, who might feel lesser for abstaining from service of this cause. With that in mind, I am announcing the formation of a new Sherlockian society.

"No Oysters Please, Eatery!" shall be both our name and out non-battle cry. As with those of us who have refused to indulge in other of Sherlock Holmes's filthy habits, the tobacco, the morphine, the cocaine, this new society, N.O.P.E. shall be for the support and encouragement of those innocent Sherlockians who find themselves at dinner across from S.P.O.D.E. or P.O.O.P members who decide to combat the oyster masses without regard to collateral visual  or other damage.

My own story of one such incident helped inspire this new support society. I was attending what I thought was a normal Sherlockian society dinner meeting when a S.P.O.D.E. enthusiast directly across from me set into his mission with great gusto. A few days later, I was stricken with a variant of Covid-19. Coincidence? Perhaps . . . or perhaps not! Full investigation of an oyster/Covid connection has not been undertaken to my knowledge, so who knows?

Should you choose to join this new society of common case, below is a membership card. You're in. Let others fight those oysters -- we have better things to do with our digestive systems, and probably don't need the mythological sexual potency that such a campaign is said to bestow, anyway.