Today's blog post brought to you by Summer Doldrums. Summer Doldrums, drying up activity by a certain point in the summer since late July.
With the recent bit of Johnlock controversy and a chance encounter with Robert Downey Jr.'s version of Sherlock Holmes, the thought occurred: "What if Guy Ritchie turned out to be the one who had a secret plan to turn Holmes and Watson into lovers?" Somehow, Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law suddenly seemed much more viable candidates. RDJ doing his awkward drag bit and Jude Law seeming just so uncomfortable-like-really-he's-hiding-something. And then I thought, "Well, if we're going into movie couples, then what about Rathbone and Bruce?"
Yeah, probably not a lot of fanfic porn involving Nigel Bruce, but you know that people do love a challenge, so there has to be some. Nigel Bruce's Watson seems like he barely understands how men and women make babies, so gay might be a little ambitious for him. (Him and that cookie jar, though, there is a love for the ages!)
But what of the others? Anybody ever rank movie Holmes-Watson pairs for level of possible romance?
Christopher Plummer and James Mason. If these guys are a pair, Mason-Watson would seem a candidate for taking Plummer-Holmes under his wing at an earlier age.
Nicol Williamson and Robert Duval. Now this is a complex and interesting pairing of a Holmes and a Watson, with Sigmund Freud on hand to help with any relationship work Watson needs and Samantha Eggar as a Mary Morstan Watson who might understand the whole situation.
Michael Caine and Ben Kingsley. There could be a lot of fun to be had here. These two could actually make a fun, out-of-the-closet Holmes and Watson movie even now.
Robert Stephens and Colin Blakely. As much as Holmes puts on that act for Madame Petrova, his Watson is far to much a homophobe ever to get his act together. He's the George Costanza of their universe, and even though he might have his orientation questioned by others, he's stuck solidly in the mud.
Christopher Lee and Patrick Macnee. Hanging around Morgan Fairchild, at this point, does not seem like a straight guy thing. They totally make a couple.
Ben Syder and Gareth David-Lloyd. Might as well be Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman. 'Nuff said.
Edward Woodward and John Hillerman. Having a hard time picturing them being straight.
Jeremy Brett and Edward Hardwicke
versus
Jeremy Brett and David Burke.
With Jeremy Brett, we even have room for a gay Watson and a straight Watson. (And, during some drug-fueled erotic dream, a Holmes/Watson three-way.) Who is whom? Which is what? My poor mind can't even get into this one.
Arthur Wontner and Ian Fleming? John Barrymore and Roland Young? William Gillette and Edward Fielding? Can there be that much subtext in black and white? Not my area of expertise. (Like any of this is.)
James D'Arcy and Roger Morlidge. D'Arcy's Holmes is one of the sluttier straight Holmeses, so much so that he could be a complete hedonist. He'd probably go for Watson, too. And speaking of which . . .
Jonny Lee Miller and Lucy Liu. The creators of Elementary are so insistent that these two's love is forbidden that it practically makes them candidates for a gay relationship. (A little additional apparatus, and voila!) Miller's character is so strange about his relationship with women that men might work better, though Lestrade would just be too strange and Bell . . . well, something a little piquant about just the names in a Holmes/Bell relationship. But I'm sticking to the transgressive making-Holmes-and-Watson-gay-somehow for this one. (Like I say, a little additional apparatus, possible surgery, and . . .)
Summer doldrums. What are you going to do?
The ongoing investigation of Sherlock Holmes, reported from the Peoria, Illinois outpost of Baker Street's dirtiest half a dozen.
Sunday, July 31, 2016
Friday, July 29, 2016
The Johnlock Conspiracy meets its Makers.
It was amazing to see the parallel this week between the events on the American national stage and those occurring within Sherlock fandom. The more enthusiastic fans of presidential candidate Bernie Sanders actually booed their main man for not behaving as they wanted as his candidacy came to a close. And when Stephen Moffat and Mark Gatiss came out and plainly stated that there was no planned endgame of a Holmes/Watson romance on Sherlock? Well, there was no joy in Mudville, as the old poem goes.
They didn't disagree with any of the fanfic writings. They didn't try to shut down anybody's playground. They simply stated their intentions about what they were doing with their particular work of art. Because, unlike Conan Doyle, they're still with us and can actually tell us what they intended or what they were thinking when they wrote this bit or that.
From as early as I can remember in grade school English classes, I remember being annoyed at those who thought they could state unequivocally what was going on in a creator's mind when that writer or artist put something together. Humans are very complex creatures, and we do things for some very odd reasons sometimes, despite what someone outside our brain might see as a pattern to our behavior and, thus, (dramatic music) our true agenda. I've even had it pulled on me by a particular reader or two of this blog.
So, while one has to sympathize with those who wanted that Holmes/Watson happy ending so badly and are apparently going to be denied, I can also empathize with the creators. You would like to think people are actually listening to you and hearing what you're saying, rather than immediately running it through a mental translator and creating what's basically an alternate universe version of you to suit themselves.
Our greatest challenge on this planet is working and playing with other people and letting them be who they are along the way. Sure, sometimes we wish they'd coddle us and hold back those disagreeable parts of their personas to make our lives happier. But we have to respect their right to be who they are, too. It's a constant give-and-take on both sides, and too often we let our emotions over-ride keeping that balancing act fair to all. I mean they're our feelings, right? People should be considerate. But on a grand stage as big as Sherlock plays upon, not everybody is going to get the ending they want.
I love Stephen Moffat and Mark Gatiss and all that they've done for Sherlock Holmes. I also love the great mass of fan extrapolation that has been done from that work. (And I also hate Elementary, just to show I'm definitely not all hearts and flowers.) So much great stuff out there these days, and I really hope nobody is getting too hurt in their efforts to have some fun with it all. But like any sport, there are always those who will play a little too hard in their enthusiasm and wind up with an injury or two.
I know, I know . . . yes, but . . . .
That. I understand.
Imagining Conan Doyle, suddenly transported to this modern era, where . . . well, one can't even quite imagine. And so, mind boggled by trying to wrap it around another wrinkle of the modern Sherlockian world, I think I'll call it a night.
Better days ahead for us all, I hope.
They didn't disagree with any of the fanfic writings. They didn't try to shut down anybody's playground. They simply stated their intentions about what they were doing with their particular work of art. Because, unlike Conan Doyle, they're still with us and can actually tell us what they intended or what they were thinking when they wrote this bit or that.
From as early as I can remember in grade school English classes, I remember being annoyed at those who thought they could state unequivocally what was going on in a creator's mind when that writer or artist put something together. Humans are very complex creatures, and we do things for some very odd reasons sometimes, despite what someone outside our brain might see as a pattern to our behavior and, thus, (dramatic music) our true agenda. I've even had it pulled on me by a particular reader or two of this blog.
So, while one has to sympathize with those who wanted that Holmes/Watson happy ending so badly and are apparently going to be denied, I can also empathize with the creators. You would like to think people are actually listening to you and hearing what you're saying, rather than immediately running it through a mental translator and creating what's basically an alternate universe version of you to suit themselves.
Our greatest challenge on this planet is working and playing with other people and letting them be who they are along the way. Sure, sometimes we wish they'd coddle us and hold back those disagreeable parts of their personas to make our lives happier. But we have to respect their right to be who they are, too. It's a constant give-and-take on both sides, and too often we let our emotions over-ride keeping that balancing act fair to all. I mean they're our feelings, right? People should be considerate. But on a grand stage as big as Sherlock plays upon, not everybody is going to get the ending they want.
I love Stephen Moffat and Mark Gatiss and all that they've done for Sherlock Holmes. I also love the great mass of fan extrapolation that has been done from that work. (And I also hate Elementary, just to show I'm definitely not all hearts and flowers.) So much great stuff out there these days, and I really hope nobody is getting too hurt in their efforts to have some fun with it all. But like any sport, there are always those who will play a little too hard in their enthusiasm and wind up with an injury or two.
I know, I know . . . yes, but . . . .
That. I understand.
Imagining Conan Doyle, suddenly transported to this modern era, where . . . well, one can't even quite imagine. And so, mind boggled by trying to wrap it around another wrinkle of the modern Sherlockian world, I think I'll call it a night.
Better days ahead for us all, I hope.
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
Finding inspiration and that part that comes after.
Live a Sherlockian life for long enough and you will inevitably get to a point where listening to others talk about your favorite subject at an event can be as dull as an algebra class taught by a teacher who's running out the clock until his retirement. The themes and facts repeated for the general public. The personal opinions that have been held and regurgitated since 1956. That certain speaker who just has no life in his delivery and a tone that would soothe a cholicky baby into slumber.
But if you're lucky . . . very, very lucky . . . that droning of Sherlockian facts and fancies is just enough to let your mind wander on the topic, plucking words and phrases like wildflowers in a prairie of browning grass.
I had one of those experiences recently, and drifted into a place where my mind started playing with the sixty jigsaw puzzle pieces that make up the original Canon of Sherlock Holmes. And a picture started to form that was something I kinda liked.
But it's always one thing to amuse yourself, and another thing to amuse somebody else.
If being a little bit bored by a presentation inspires one to bore some other people, that's paying it forward, karma, or something like that, but one always hopes to add a little something to the pot, raise the reward for playing a little bit more before the next player adds their chips.
And that's where the work comes in.
I remember my college years, writing classes, and all my fellow youngsters worried about somebody stealing their ideas, as if the idea alone was what produced a result. Eventually they probably learned, as I did, that an idea can be a wonderful thing . . . but it's the execution of that idea that makes it something great, or nothing at all.
That's where so many of us don't quite make it up the hill, myself included. Because it is a hill. A big one. Little blog snipplets like this one are nothing. A few little thoughts tossed together in a half hour. But occasionally, a thought comes along that needs a trip up that hill to bring it to fruition.
And here I am, sitting with another one of those, kinda wishing it was someone else with a little more energy. But who knows? This may be the hill that gets climbed.
Wish me luck!
But if you're lucky . . . very, very lucky . . . that droning of Sherlockian facts and fancies is just enough to let your mind wander on the topic, plucking words and phrases like wildflowers in a prairie of browning grass.
I had one of those experiences recently, and drifted into a place where my mind started playing with the sixty jigsaw puzzle pieces that make up the original Canon of Sherlock Holmes. And a picture started to form that was something I kinda liked.
But it's always one thing to amuse yourself, and another thing to amuse somebody else.
If being a little bit bored by a presentation inspires one to bore some other people, that's paying it forward, karma, or something like that, but one always hopes to add a little something to the pot, raise the reward for playing a little bit more before the next player adds their chips.
And that's where the work comes in.
I remember my college years, writing classes, and all my fellow youngsters worried about somebody stealing their ideas, as if the idea alone was what produced a result. Eventually they probably learned, as I did, that an idea can be a wonderful thing . . . but it's the execution of that idea that makes it something great, or nothing at all.
That's where so many of us don't quite make it up the hill, myself included. Because it is a hill. A big one. Little blog snipplets like this one are nothing. A few little thoughts tossed together in a half hour. But occasionally, a thought comes along that needs a trip up that hill to bring it to fruition.
And here I am, sitting with another one of those, kinda wishing it was someone else with a little more energy. But who knows? This may be the hill that gets climbed.
Wish me luck!
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
The Holy Book of Sherlock, third iteration.
Well, I seem to have forgotten to tell anyone yet again . . . .
This past Sunday, the Sherlock Peoria road show made a stop at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Bloomington-Normal, where I delivered my talk "The Holy Book of Sherlock Holmes" to a very receptive audience. Summer services at the Unitarian Universalist churches of Central Illinois make good use of lay speakers, and I've gotten a lot of public speaking practice at them . . . many times on topics other than Sherlock Holmes.
The U.U.s are very much beneficiaries of my training in the Sherlockian world, where delivering papers at scion society meetings and weekend workshops showed me that I could actually get comfortable at a podium or behind a microphone. (To be fair, that is also something many a karaoke audience may actually have a vendetta against Sherlockiana for as well.)
This Sunday's talk was not only well received, but had a pretty good amount of questions. Sherlock Holmes is in so many people's lives, maybe not as much as some of us, but still there. And they like to hear about him. It's always a good experience going out to talk about Sherlock Holmes, the sort of good time you forget how good it is until you get back into it.
So in the run up to a typical Sherlock talk to an audience of primarily non-Sherlockians, I tend to forget to mention it to Sherlockian friends. They pretty much know everything I'm going to say, so I tend to forget that some of them might like to hear it anyway. My apologies to anyone who might have liked to come and missed out.
Now, on to the next thing . . .
This past Sunday, the Sherlock Peoria road show made a stop at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Bloomington-Normal, where I delivered my talk "The Holy Book of Sherlock Holmes" to a very receptive audience. Summer services at the Unitarian Universalist churches of Central Illinois make good use of lay speakers, and I've gotten a lot of public speaking practice at them . . . many times on topics other than Sherlock Holmes.
The U.U.s are very much beneficiaries of my training in the Sherlockian world, where delivering papers at scion society meetings and weekend workshops showed me that I could actually get comfortable at a podium or behind a microphone. (To be fair, that is also something many a karaoke audience may actually have a vendetta against Sherlockiana for as well.)
This Sunday's talk was not only well received, but had a pretty good amount of questions. Sherlock Holmes is in so many people's lives, maybe not as much as some of us, but still there. And they like to hear about him. It's always a good experience going out to talk about Sherlock Holmes, the sort of good time you forget how good it is until you get back into it.
So in the run up to a typical Sherlock talk to an audience of primarily non-Sherlockians, I tend to forget to mention it to Sherlockian friends. They pretty much know everything I'm going to say, so I tend to forget that some of them might like to hear it anyway. My apologies to anyone who might have liked to come and missed out.
Now, on to the next thing . . .
Sunday, July 24, 2016
And the Cumberbatch rises like the sun over Comicon.
Would Basil Rathbone have magically visited the Hall H line at Comicon during the night?
Would William Gillette have sat on a panel with Arthur Conan Doyle and John Kendrick Bangs to discuss where Holmes would pop up next in 1899?
We can't really say how the icons of Sherlock past might have behaved in our modern media world. All we have is what we have, and in the center of so much of it is that this week was about that Sherlock at the center of our six year resurgence of Sherlocklemania, Benedict Cumberbatch.
Hard not to be a fan of the guy at this point, and if you're still not (and I know many out there aren't), well I applaud your staunch resolution, ability to remain fixed in time, or peculiar taste in Sherlocks, whatever the case may be. You are the rare Pokemon that someone will want to throw a Pokeball at one day.
(Oops . . . if you're tired of hearing about Benedict Cumberbatch, you're probably really tired of hearing about Pokemon. My 'pologies.)
But with a big Marvel Comics movie and what might be the ultimate season of Sherlock both tickling fancies at this year's San Diego Comicon, Benedict Cumberbatch is more in the catbird seat than ever before this summer. And it seems to suit him well.
As a Sherlock Holmes fan, there is a time to resist the tides of fad and fancy, and a time to just let the wonder of it all wash over you . . . and I'm pretty sure this is a season of the latter. Those who, six years ago, were seen by some judgmental sorts as less than serious Sherlockians due to their excitement over the actor have proven themselves over and over again, just as their favorite Sherlock actor has in his own career.
Has it only been six years? As the saying goes, "Thanks, Obama!"
(Hey, the guy gets blamed for everything, might as well give him credit for everything, too.)
Thursday, July 21, 2016
Nothing lasts forever . . . but could it please last as long as us?
This week, Chris Redmond announced that he will no longer be maintaining Sherlockian.net after the end of this year. We are all in hopes that someone else will take over the care and maintenance of this reliable reference-point of the Sherlockian web, because for many of us, it is a regular stop. Need to know the next story in publication order? Zip over to Sherlockian.net. Wondering if Cincinnati ever had a scion society of the Baker Street Irregulars? Over to Sherlockian.net to get the link to the societies list.
Google has taken the place of link lists for almost all net navigation these days, but when you really wanted to go directly to exactly what you need to know, an authoritative site like Sherlockian.net is irreplacable. And Sherlockians are definitely people who like exact knowledge.
I remember the days when I was publishing The Holmes & Watson Report on paper and trying to convince writers to move over to the web with me for the original incarnation of SherlockPeoria.net, a major concern was the ephemeral nature of the web . . . that websites can go away if someone stops paying the server storage bills. Never mind that paper is hardly a medium that will last an eternity, print was what we were comfortable with and a couple hundred years sure seemed like eternity.
Now, as so many internet contributors use third party platforms like Tumblr or Blogger, where the continued success of a company like Google seems more long-term than one's ability to pay server storage fees, a new generation of Sherlockian writers has a very different attitude toward committing their works to the web, at least for the first stage of its existence. Styles of working cross-platform both on output and intake vary wildly from individual to individual, so it's impossible to make absolute statements about the best way to do anything . . . who knows what will come next?
But we will always grow to depend upon what currently exists, and when something has existed for as long as Sherlockian.net, it's going to have a lot of folks considering it a standard tool in their online toolbox. There are good indications that it will go on without its current curator's support, and I hope those indications are followed by a sustained existence for the site.
Because even though nothing lasts forever, we always have a somewhat selfish wish that such things like Sherlockian.net will at least last as long as we do . . . so we don't have to realize what life without it feels like.
All congratulations to Chris for pioneering out on the Sherlockian web frontier and helping us all settle into it as the decades rolled by. And all best wishes on Sherlockian.net having many, many more years of existence, long past those of even this little endeavor.
Google has taken the place of link lists for almost all net navigation these days, but when you really wanted to go directly to exactly what you need to know, an authoritative site like Sherlockian.net is irreplacable. And Sherlockians are definitely people who like exact knowledge.
I remember the days when I was publishing The Holmes & Watson Report on paper and trying to convince writers to move over to the web with me for the original incarnation of SherlockPeoria.net, a major concern was the ephemeral nature of the web . . . that websites can go away if someone stops paying the server storage bills. Never mind that paper is hardly a medium that will last an eternity, print was what we were comfortable with and a couple hundred years sure seemed like eternity.
Now, as so many internet contributors use third party platforms like Tumblr or Blogger, where the continued success of a company like Google seems more long-term than one's ability to pay server storage fees, a new generation of Sherlockian writers has a very different attitude toward committing their works to the web, at least for the first stage of its existence. Styles of working cross-platform both on output and intake vary wildly from individual to individual, so it's impossible to make absolute statements about the best way to do anything . . . who knows what will come next?
But we will always grow to depend upon what currently exists, and when something has existed for as long as Sherlockian.net, it's going to have a lot of folks considering it a standard tool in their online toolbox. There are good indications that it will go on without its current curator's support, and I hope those indications are followed by a sustained existence for the site.
Because even though nothing lasts forever, we always have a somewhat selfish wish that such things like Sherlockian.net will at least last as long as we do . . . so we don't have to realize what life without it feels like.
All congratulations to Chris for pioneering out on the Sherlockian web frontier and helping us all settle into it as the decades rolled by. And all best wishes on Sherlockian.net having many, many more years of existence, long past those of even this little endeavor.
Monday, July 18, 2016
Villagers of Trumpington assemble!
I don't know if the Sherlock Holmes society of Cleveland, Mrs. Hudson's Lodgers, is still meeting on a regular basis, but if they are, this week offers a singular opportunity. They, along with any other Sherlockians who happen to be in that notable city this week, are missing a bet if they don't form a scion-society-of-the-moment called "the Villagers of Trumpington."
With the Republican national convention in Cleveland to celebrate what is possibly the most Sherlockian presidential ticket in history, why not?
Donald Trump, whose name invokes not only the village of Trumpington from "Missing Three-Quarter" and the "trumpery pendants" of "Lady Frances Carfax," but Inspector MacDonald of The Valley of Fear, is the Republican presidential hopeful. And his vice-presidential partner? Mike, as in "Mike Scanlan," also of The Valley of Fear, and Pence, as in "a few pence," "twopence," "sixpence," etc., all over the Canon.
Heck, their combined ticket is "Trump-Pence," which sounds like an amount of pocket change a street urchin might save up after their regime takes office . . . because as Donald Trump might say, "I know street urchins, and we're going to make American street urchins competitive with every other country in the world, in any era. Thousands of street urchins on every block!"
And consider this: Enoch J. Drebber of Cleveland, Ohio was the first corpse that Sherlock Holmes ever took Watson on a case to see. And what is Donald Trump's middle initial? "J." just like Enoch J. Drebber! Coincidence? (We'll leave Drebber's "vacant sightless eyes" out of this.)
The first activity of the new temporary Sherlock club called the Villagers of Trumpington can be to find an empty three story house and lay on the floor with a red wax candle, which is about as exciting as watching a political convention.
But I do have a tip, if your cable has on-demand and you quickly find you want to watch something else on TV a little more uplifting -- you can do what I did tonight and watch last week's season-start episode of Penn & Teller: Fool Us that was on CW last Wednesday. The first trick of the episode actually involves reading Sherlock Holmes stories, so if you ever wanted to see actress Alyson Hannigan paging through the Canon . . . and who wouldn't, really . . . it's worth a watch. (You might even find it worth sticking it out to the end for the trick performed in your own home.)
Anyway, I'll be very surprised if "the Villagers of Trumpington" ever becomes an actual Sherlock Holmes club. At least I'm hoping it doesn't . . .
With the Republican national convention in Cleveland to celebrate what is possibly the most Sherlockian presidential ticket in history, why not?
Donald Trump, whose name invokes not only the village of Trumpington from "Missing Three-Quarter" and the "trumpery pendants" of "Lady Frances Carfax," but Inspector MacDonald of The Valley of Fear, is the Republican presidential hopeful. And his vice-presidential partner? Mike, as in "Mike Scanlan," also of The Valley of Fear, and Pence, as in "a few pence," "twopence," "sixpence," etc., all over the Canon.
Heck, their combined ticket is "Trump-Pence," which sounds like an amount of pocket change a street urchin might save up after their regime takes office . . . because as Donald Trump might say, "I know street urchins, and we're going to make American street urchins competitive with every other country in the world, in any era. Thousands of street urchins on every block!"
And consider this: Enoch J. Drebber of Cleveland, Ohio was the first corpse that Sherlock Holmes ever took Watson on a case to see. And what is Donald Trump's middle initial? "J." just like Enoch J. Drebber! Coincidence? (We'll leave Drebber's "vacant sightless eyes" out of this.)
The first activity of the new temporary Sherlock club called the Villagers of Trumpington can be to find an empty three story house and lay on the floor with a red wax candle, which is about as exciting as watching a political convention.
But I do have a tip, if your cable has on-demand and you quickly find you want to watch something else on TV a little more uplifting -- you can do what I did tonight and watch last week's season-start episode of Penn & Teller: Fool Us that was on CW last Wednesday. The first trick of the episode actually involves reading Sherlock Holmes stories, so if you ever wanted to see actress Alyson Hannigan paging through the Canon . . . and who wouldn't, really . . . it's worth a watch. (You might even find it worth sticking it out to the end for the trick performed in your own home.)
Anyway, I'll be very surprised if "the Villagers of Trumpington" ever becomes an actual Sherlock Holmes club. At least I'm hoping it doesn't . . .
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