A New Tent Joke

 Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went camping . . . stop me if you've heard this . . .

Sorry, but you haven't, and, really, this is a blog post and I'm just going to keep typing, so settle in.

After a good meal of trout, freshly caught in a nearby river, Sherlock Holmes reached into his well-worn leather knapsack and pulled out a harmonica.

"Have I ever told you about the time my grandfather was of service to the Hohner brothers, Watson?" Sherlock Holmes asked, then immediately put the harmonica in his mouth and started playing a sprightly tune before Watson could answer. Watson, quite taken with the tune -- an old camp favorite from his days in the Northumberland Fusiliers -- began to sing along with full-throated delight.

After the third verse and a complete description of the lady whose virtues the song extolled, Sherlock Holmes stopped playing and cocked his head slightly to one side.

"Do you hear that, Watson?"

Watson stopped and listened.

"It's the song of the woodlands, Holmes. The insects, the night birds, the gentle breezes passing through the trees above. And . . . there! In the distance, a lonely canine bays at the moon in lieu of good company. We must not be too far from a farm. The crackle of our own campfire, making our own ripple on this gentle sea of sound . . . what could be better!"

"To truly perceive one's surroundings, one must let the genius loci enter the quieted mind, and hear what lies inside, waiting to be heard."

Watson relaxed and let his mind go still. His ears attuned to catch some secret nature's view-halloo.

Sherlock Holmes rose slightly from his seat in the fashion of a Spanish caganer, and let trumpet a mighty wind, which carried in Watson's direction, offending his nostrils shortly after the sound had offended his ears.

"I am setting fire to our tent," Dr. Watson announced, and promptly doused it with kerosene and lit it with a glowing ember from the fire.

********************

Okay, I didn't know where that was going when I started, but when it took that audio turn, it had to go Blazing Saddles. Apologies to my more respectable friends for that cheap shot. I shall try again another day.