Wednesday, June 7, 2017

"John Watson's Island"

Okay, new Sherlock Holmes TV show idea . . . and it all starts with a song!

Just relax now

And you'll hear a tale

A tale that you shouldn't quote,
That started from this London port,
Aboard this tiny boat.
The mate was an army doctor man,
And Sherlock set the pace.
Five passengers set sail that day,
For a three hour case,
A three hour case.

The river started getting rough,
But the tiny boat was tossed.
If not for the courage of the fearless two
The police-boat would be lost.
The police-boat would be lost.

The boat set aground on the shore
Of this uncharted river isle
With John Watson,
His Sherlock too.
The Government and the Yard,
An opera star,
The professor and Mary Morstan,
Here on John Watson's Isle.

Still with me? That's just the opening lyrics. You get more at the close of the show.

So this is a case that has gone astray,
they're here for a long, long time.
They may not solve a case each week,
please send them a lime.

John Watson and his Sherlock too
will do their very best,
to foil Jim Moriarty troubles
in their weird Thames island nest.

No wires, no gas, no hansom cabs
not a single luxury
just like the Grice Patersons,
it's primitive as can be.

So join us now, Sherlockians,
E'en if you're full of bile,
for seven stranded characters
here on John Watson's Isle!

Get it? Got it? Good! A show that gets to the very core of pastiche, centering on Sherlock, John, Mycroft, Lestrade, Irene, Moriarty, and Mary Morstan. (Because who else do you need, right? Mrs. Hudson? Well, yes, but Gilligan's Island only had seven castaways, and Mycroft and Lestrade make a better pair of Howells.)

This, of course, is really just the opening. I cut my teeth on Gilligan's Island reruns as a kid, so you're going to get at least one more day of John Watson's Island. Crank up your cocoanut and palm frond laptop for tomorrow's next bit of summer vacation fun!

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