Wednesday, March 1, 2017

The coming of the Scooplockian.

"But there was something in the ice-cold reasoning of Holmes which made it impossible to shrink from any adventure which he might recommend."
-- "The Adventure of Wisteria Lodge"

"Ice-cold reasoning." Reasoning upon that which is ice-cold. The sort of situation when ice cream is suggested as a dessert outing and cannot be argued with.

"I clasped his hand in silence, and the die was cast." After the statement above, Watson shakes Holmes's hand like Batman and Robin do after punching baddies in the cartoon intro to the 1966 TV series.

Perhaps I'm being a bit naive with my interpretation of an innocent handshake, and perhaps I'm being a bit fanciful in imagining them going out for ice cream on their way to finish an investigation. And perhaps "The Adventure of Wisteria Lodge," which Watson dates as occurring during Holmes's hiatus is flimsy evidence to base anything on. 

But when is ice cream ever a bad thing? It's ice cream.

And maybe, just maybe, I'm de-emphasizing the romantic possibilities of that "Wisteria Lodge" hand-clasp because I have a different shipping target for Sherlock Holmes . . . a rare pairing that is at once slightly bizarre and G-rated sexy. For what could Sherlock Holmes love with a raw sensuality that matches anything fanfic porn can pull off?

Ice cream.

Now, don't give me that "But Sherlock and John and ice cream have already had a three-way!" and refer to some mere ice-cream-as-edible-sex-toy fic. No, I'm talking a pure, man-and-his-ice-cream, fully focussed relationship. Tasty . . . .

Yes, yes, Johnlock, but that is sooooooo fifteen minutes ago. Scooplock is the new flavor of the month, the fanfic of the future. Now that Sherlock may be on permanent hiatus, going back to that churn is going to need fresh ingredients. And maybe some hot fudge. And nuts.

Mmmmm, Scooplock.

It's coming. Soon.

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