Wednesday, July 17, 2019

Elementary, Season Seven, Episode Eight: A formula for babies

Sherlock blows off all three Garridebs after solving a yoga ball murder, just to start last week's Elementary! But after six and a half seasons, are we even sure those Garridebs haven't ben mentioned before? I'm almost a week behind on our last ongoing TV Sherlock, but if you're somehow slower than me: SPOILERS AHOY!

Fraudulent kidnap victim Mina Davenport is back, as the continuity tour continues, a veritable "greatest hits" decided by the writers or showrunner. And Mina, a.k.a. Cassie, wants "the best at what you do" to solve a murder. Because this is a murder show, by Saint Jessica Fletcher's ghost!

Cassie is the first client that Sherlock ever decided to keep as a house pet at their brownstone, because he just doesn't trust her. Not the rationale I'd use for keeping someone in my home, but, hey, this is Elementary's Sherlock. He doesn't work like the rest of us do.

The baby formula resale market comes into play, as after seven seasons, this show has to go to some lengths to hit new dark corners of the criminal world to wander until the next twist, and black market baby formula . . . well, I'm sure they'll get away from this part before they have to hire a baby actor. Seems to be a single-thread show so far, which is unusual of late.

The twist comes in a double dose to get us away from baby formula. Cassie makes a weak attempt to convince Joan than Sherlock is her father, Sherlock sees a pattern in Cassie's internet traffic -- Holmes and Watson themselves. Commercial time!

It makes it fun to watch these shows designed for network TV on Netflix and the like, as these story punctuation marks, built to hold our attention through the commercials, have created the pattern they get written in, with an appropriate number of acts.

Cassie the lying liar, though, is our story this week. And, having deduced she has come to him for connection, Sherlock turns guidance counselor. How to find purpose in life for a lying liar? Not a consulting detective career . . . Joan and Kitty have already graduated Holmeswarts, and . . . wait, we're still on baby formula?

State legislature baby formula bills, and . . . wait, the three Garridebs got solved off-screen while we were screwing around with lying Cassie and baby formula? WTF, Elementary! References to the Canon are one thing, but knowing there was a whole 'nother episode we could have watched while this one was going on . . . wait, Odin Reichenbach reference!

Oh, Cassie, you didn't read "Charles Augustus Milverton," did you? Oh, wait, Joan's a consulting detective in this universe and didn't publish it. If she had, though, she might know that blackmailers get killed all the time for confronting their victims alone. Maybe this commercial will give Sherlock time to save her, of maybe Joan will have solved "Three Gables" when we get back. Am I getting snarkier as this season goes on?  Going to have to meditate upon the spin of my DRC rotary coffin and rebalance my Sherlockian chi.

Alan Cumming seems to be CBS's incoming wacky detective with a sensible female partner when Jonny Lee Miller is done. Instinct.

Cassie got lucky, though, and wasn't killed during commercial. She set herself up to be killed later, to catch the real killer, and all that killer-catching happens off-screen, explained afterward by Joan and Marcus Bell. The budget on this show runs really cheap sometimes. But it leaves time for Cassie and guidance counselor Sherlock to talk about changing her name to who she really is. I'd pick "Loki Reichenbach" if I was her, so I could stay on the show the rest of the season.

Anyways, tomorrow night the show is back again with a deadly welder and a pot-sniffing dog. No more baby formula!

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