And now, as a public service to all the little Elementary fans sitting cross-legged in front of their tee-vees waiting for the late-starting season premiere of their favorite show, Sherlock Peoria is proud to present our latest aid for passing that long wait . . . Elementary Theater, starring Mr. Elementary!
Mr. Elementary: Lucy, I'm ho-ome!
Lucy: Oh, El! Did you have a good day at work?
Mr. Elementary: Richard Castle came down to NYPD today to research his next book.
Lucy: Richard Castle! Could you introduce me to him?
Mr. Elementary: Now, Lucy, I invited him to dinner, but don't go getting one of your crazy ideas about becoming his apprentice or anything.
Lucy: Oh, no! Clyde and Angus were coming over to play bridge tonight!
Clyde (entering from the kitchen with Angus): Teen-age mu-tant de-tective turtle! Teen-age mu-tant de-tective turtle! Consulting on the half-shell! Turtle Power!
Angus: Hi, Lucy! Hi, El . . . Hitler! Man, that guy sucked. Do you know what he did to guys with full head tattoos like mine? Ms. Hudson gave me a book on it today.
Mr. Elementary: Clyde, Angus, you'll have to excuse us, we . . . .
Lucy: . . . have a case, that we have to go out for! Captain Gregson just called! Yeah, that's it!
Clyde: That's too bad, we just saw Richard Castle get out of a cab out front! You're not trying to get us out of here so you can have dinner with another of your famous crossover friends are you?
Angus: I've got some novel ideas that I want to pitch Castle! Nikki Heat starts working with NYPD's house phrenologist and they track a skull-fu . . . .
Lucy: You guys have to get out of here now!
Angus: But it's a skull made of fudge! Like that crystal one Indiana Jones had, but made of fudge!
Mr. Elementary: Ay-yi-yi! This is worse than the time I brought Temprance Brennan home and found you sleeping with my brother on the Shroud of Etrigan that was supposed to be on display at the Jeffersonian Museum!
(Yeah, slow Sherlockian news day.)