Thursday, January 29, 2015

E3:12. Wasted Dels and wasted nights.

Well, there were about three other things of Sherlockian significance I could have written about this week, had time allowed. Yet time did not allow. And Thursday is here. And with Thursday comes that one hour I know will produce a blog, even though it will never be one of the better essays that appears here, because it isn't thought out in advance, meditated upon, or worked through to its logical conclusion.

It's just Elementary watching time, and the reactions and random thoughts that come along with that. And even though when life gives you lemons, you can make lemonade by adding enough sugar and water, and you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear (though I'm sure someone would find than an acceptable challenge and pull it off), well . . . . 

The vampire Lestat, Dorian Gray, Carl Kolchak, Adelbert Gruner . . . Stuart Townsend has played some pretty wonderful characters, sometime in better productions than others. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, for example, such promise, yet such a failure in the eyes of many. Not Townsend's fault. Queen of the Damned, a first quality vampire romp in its own right, yet forever a follow-up to Tom Cruise deciding he needed to play a vampire in a movie with all the big-budget trimmings wrapped around a badly-cast lead. And now, Stuart Townsend gets to follow in the footsteps of so many who talents get all the use of an actor in a second Star Wars trilogy.

Hold up, Lucy Liu is wearing a scarf and hat like the fourth Doctor going to a funeral in a mini-skirt.

Sorry, that was just weird. But as Kitty Winter prepares her acid, and Joan Watson is coming dangerously close to Del Gruner, one wonders where this will wind up going. The first half was rather uninspired, hence the musings upon Stuart Townsend above. Which means I'm not wondering from suspense, but just because I know the Canonical outcome of the Kitty Winter/Adelbert Gruner relationship, and wonder whether it will be echoed here. At half-time, I'm betting not, as they really haven't portrayed Gruner with enough loathsome detail to justify an acid-dousing catharsis. And they have to give Joan Watson a little more to do, just because it's Elementary. but I'm betting Mr. Elementary stops her in the end.

Well, Kitty got a little near facial disfigurement in with a branding iron, and guess who stopped her?

Still wondering why they showed the heroin packets during the "previously on" segment and trying to figure out what the Gruner/Kitty/Mr. Elementary torture and death possibilities have to do with . . . ah, I think meeting Kitty kept Mr. E. from doing heroin again back in London. And off he goes with that weird Jason Statham walk to let Kitty decide what to do with her once-tormentor.

And a couple of actual Canonical details later, Kitty Winter heads for the airport to depart Elementary, taking Olivia Lovibond with her and the hour of Elementary as well.

Good-bye, Miss Kitty. Guess we had to know you were just a temp. Good job at fulfilling your proper destiny, even if it was an unexpectedly sleepy time getting there.


  1. I am thinking you actually liked this one. This review contained very little of the vitriol you normally have for Elementary. You are a reluctant fan aren't you? And never underestimate the power of an un-meditated blog post.

    1. Actually, last night's episode was one of those that was just so poorly constructed that it wasn't holding my interest, for better or worse. As I've pondered it since then, I'm really amazed how tepid it was for all the subject matter involved: A serial rapist/torturer/killer. The main character confronting his heroin addiction. A horrific act of vengeance. On paper that all sounds incredibly dramatic, but what I saw last night was . . . "Eh!"

      It made me really want to just start referring to Mr. Elementary's show as "Mediocrity."

  2. Is it weird that I prefer the original Baron Gruner? This one just seemed sort of -- blah.

    And now I want to see a Gruner/Milverton cage match. To. The. DEATH!!1!!