Monday, January 12, 2015

Following Jennifer Aniston wherever she might lead.

Okay, I could write about The Imitation Game, which finally found its way to Peoria this weekend. It's connection to Sherlock Holmes other than its star playing another smart guy besides our boy Sherlock may be a little bit tenuous. Rathbone Holmes fought Nazis with his brain, Alan Turing fought Nazis with his brain. Blah, blah, close enough. Good movie.

But once I saw Kelly Schremph's article on Bustle, "What a Sherlock Holmes & Rachel Green Spin-Off Would Look Like Because You Can Never Have Too Much Benedict Cumberbatch," well, I forgot all about poor old Alan Turing. Kelly, it seems, was inspired by an impromptu moment on the Golden Globes awards. And her idea is not too crazy . . . not too crazy at all.

Many years ago, Marvel Comics decided to re-envision many of its popular comic book titles, re-starting their stories in an alternate world, where each title was prefixed with a single word: ultimate. Ultimate Spiderman. Ultimate Avengers. Ultimate X-men. Whether or not any of those series were the ultimate in storytelling for its characters remains a judgement call, but Marvel did put the concept out there. They weren't just re-telling the story . . . they were pushing it to its ultimate level.

And I was immediately reminded of that Marvel Comics line the minute I saw Benedict Cumberbatch and Jennifer Aniston together in the Bustle article, as two words flashed to mind in great, marquee-style flashing letters:

Ultimate Elementary.

Everything that Elementary is, pushed to its ultimate level. Cumberbatch as Sherlock Holmes. Aniston as Joan Watson. Dana Carvey as Clyde the turtle. Benicio Del Toro as Alfredo Llamosa. Woody Harrelson as Mycroft Holmes. Cate Blanchett as Jamie Moriarty. Harrison Ford as Captain Gregson. Cuba Gooding Jr. as Detective Bell. Get Quentin Tarantino to write and direct it, just to get it as over-the-top ultimate as possible, and there ya go . . .

Ultimate Elementary.

And I'd just sit here, being happy. Like I am now at the very thought.


  1. While you are at it, why not throw in Andy Dick as Ms Hudson, David Arquette as Andrew Paek, Courtney Cox as Dr. Candace Reed, Lisa Kudrow as Kitty Winter, Matt LeBlanc as Harlan Emple, David Schwimmer as The Nose, and Matthew Perry as Gareth Lestrade! Also perhaps, Hugh Laurie as Dr. Eugene Hawes, and a special guest appearance by Kim Jung Un as Sebastian Moran. Top it all off with a new musical score by Psy titled "Elementary Style".

  2. As long as you have Jennifer Aniston in it, you don't really need anyone else.

  3. And, it should be removed to Washington DC in 2054, as in Philip K. Dick's "The Minority Report".

  4. I... uh...

    ::brain melts and leaks out ears::

    Korina, slightly stunned