Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Prelim Seven, The Miss "Sherlock Holmes is Like" Pageant

Okay, let's be honest here. The Miss "Sherlock Holmes Is Like" Pageant was designed with a fatal flaw. The single judge on the panel is a huge Sherlock Holmes fan. Sherlock Holmes is his favorite character/person/anything-else. And the entire book from which this pageant's contestants are drawn is written about non-Sherlock-Holmes characters.

And even if you try to convince that single judge that an non-Sherlock-Holmes is like Sherlock Holmes . . . well, suffice it to say that there was a reason that fellow was so rabidly anti-Elementary once upon a time. So things have gotten a little rough at the judge's table.

Jeeves . . .  the judge is looking at his phone.

Mr. Darcy . . . he's asking someone to bring him a Diet Coke.

Sir Isaac Newton . . . he's googling a recipe for apple pie to make later.

Sir George Lewis . . . wait . . . did the judge just go out for second breakfast?

Murdoch from Murdoch Mysteries . . . well, at least he's whistling "O Canada," so he seems to be engaged. And Wilda Thumm has included a bit about that Sherlock Holmes episode of Murdoch Mysteries, so there's hope for a winner of this round. Murdoch actually got a thumbs-up.

But wait . . . oh, no, the pageant organizers are bringing on more contestants. This was not the day to do this.

Meghashyam Chirravoori . . . back to the phone.

Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks . . . the judge is miming a little person dancing backwards, so . . .? Maybe David Lynch could make sense of that.

George Smiley . . .  the judge is starting to stir. It looks like he's going to say something. Wait, he's seen the next contestant . . .

Alexia Tarabotti . . . "AAAH-WOOOOOO!!! Werewolves of London! AAAH-WOOOOOOOOO!!"

Somehow, Courtney Powers has made the judge start singing Warren Zevon with her presentation of Alexia Tarabotti, and catapulted her charge into the final round.

Hopefully someone will actually put Sherlock Holmes into this pageant for our final preliminary, or we may have to find a new judge. This one is plainly starting to lose it.

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