Thursday, August 15, 2019

Elementary, Season Seven, Episode Last: Brad swears at the end.

And now we come down to it. The final Elementary.

How best to celebrate this final episode?

"Would you like some heroin?" to quote our most recent Watson, from Holmes and Watson. For it was heroin that brought Sherlock Holmes and Joan Watson together, as well as Morland Holmes, who also, one could propose, was also the one who finally made them come apart. (With his death and the aftermath, at least.) But we probably should find something appropriate to raise a glass with, and I'm choosing . . . Mexican Coke. No corn syrup for Elementary, just the sweet, sweet cane sugar.

I also can't celebrate Elementary's end without a Parthian shot or two, given the fun it gave me early on, poking at it. Since its ongoing ardent admirer over at Screen Rant said this week that the show should "be regarded as the best Sherlock Holmes adaptation," I do feel obligated to point out that it was less adapted and more "inspired by." And, not to pick nits, the thing it was initially inspired by at CBS corporate was definitely BBC Sherlock and not Conan Doyle.

But seven years is one helluva an accomplishment, getting Jonny Lee Miller's Sherlock in the record books under several headings. And the notion that Joan Watson had more TV episodes than any John Watson is a fun fact indeed. She got more seasons than Joan of Arcadia, The Joan Rivers Show, What About Joan? and that 1950s classic I Married Joan, so she not only beat out Watsons, she beat out Joans!

In fact, I know most folks don't think we're going to get Jamie Moriarty tonight, but t'were this show to end perfectly and true to its series-long arc? Joan Watson has to take down Jamie Moriarty. Because, all in all, it's her show. Sherlock has been addicted, damaged, orphaned . . . yes, he's had many trials to overcome. But it's been Joan who has risen to the challenges and climbed the mountain that meeting Sherlock brought into her life. And what's at the peak of that mountain? The thing that triggered the addiction she came along to help break Sherlock of: Jamie Moriarty.

So let's get down to some SPOILERS-y talk and see what the show brings. Time to make my popcorn, pour my Mexican Coke, and warm up that outdated TV tube.


Here we go.

WHOOOOAAAA!! The pre-title-sequence on this one is a real ride. Three years later, Odin Reichenbach is going to jail forever for everything BUT the death of Sherlock Holmes. The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes by Joan Watson has been published. Marcus Bell is the captain at NYPD. Joan has a son named Arthur. She's just solved her "Dying Detective" case. The "late" Jamie Moriarty has sent her lawyer, Ronald Adair, to give to Sherlock, and . . . guess what? Joan has known Sherlock was alive all along!


Afghanistan. Bees. Tibet. The Pope. Sigerson. Coal-tar derivatives. This episode is dinging and flashing like a pinball machine. Mmmm, Mexican Coke.

Ha! Good old Elementary! The other three lead characters have never let their Sherlock get away with too much, and it seems they have been their only little team in his absence.

What! A commerical for Lucy Liu's next TV show! Good on you, Lucy!

And Sherlock is calling himself "Gareth Lestrade" from Scotland Yard. Nice callback to a character long gone. And someone's been cheating at cards, Ronald Adair is dead, and somebody is definitely not Moriarty . . . who could that be? I wonder . . . .  *wink*

Mmmm, Mexican Coke. So cinnamon-y!

Our local news just teased that a franchise is going to start selling CBD oil in Peoria -- EVERYBODY sells CBD oil in Peoria! That's not news. But I digress.

I've actually been enjoying the hell out of this episode. Someone else in the household, who's never watched Elementary before, is not so impressed. I'll spare you exact quotes, but they're hitting a weakness or three that have always been there. But wait . . . the show is actually going from "Empty House" to actual "His Last Bow" in one episode? Wow.


You don't tease Moriarty, then forty-five minutes into the finale, give us CANCER!!!! Man, if people paid this show the attention they paid to Game of Thrones, this finale would be eviscerated. Ah, well. Elementary dies as it lived, with another weird turn that doesn't have the lasting impact of a developed . . .  MOTHER-FUCKER! One year later, and this better not be what I think it is, which isn't . . . I KNEW IT!  It's not even a real Moriarty death! And we're back to the status quo.

Okay, out of respect for my Sherlockian peers who find this show a beloved mainstay, I'm going to stop now. Toodle-oo, Elementary. It's been real, and it's been fun.

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