Thursday, February 19, 2015

E3:15. Well, it's not chartered accountancy.

Poor Andrew Paek. How many times must he die over and over in Elementary's "previously on" segment? Eventually he may get more air-time in his death on the show than he did with his life.

His purpose in dying on this week's Elementary isn't clear at first, perhaps to give some vague reason to Joan Watson moving back into the brownstone with Mr. Elementary, who now is practicing hitting his dummy with two sticks instead of one, which makes one wonder if that particular martial art is now called "doublestick."

In between the domestic arrangements of Joan Watson and Mr. Elementary this week, we follow the adventures of a sweet young lady whose hobby is shooting poor people with her silencer-equipped pistol and leaving envelopes of money on their bodies. She has her own reasons, of course, and I suppose we're waiting for Mr. Elementary (or Joan, as one never knows) to tell us what those reasons are.

I miss Kitty Winter.

IMDB says Kitty's portrayer, Olivia Lovibond, will be in movies entitled Man Up and Gozo. I hope they're worth seeing, as it would be good to see Kitty's face again. Of course, I've got Guardians of the Galaxy on DVD. That might be a pleasant watch.

Oh, yes, this week's Elementary. The plot seems to be revolving around insurance actuarial formulae. And that's always a crowd-pleaser, right?

I'm going to sleep well tonight. This is the sleepy Elementary I remember, not that ridiculously irritating lesson in how not to run a TV show that came along last week.

Waiting for Mr. Elementary and Joan drag themselves to finding out what we already know on this episode is a slow and painful ordeal. At least the duo break it up with a discussion of their living arrangements . . . a relationship that's probably as dull as . . . DING! DING! DING! Finally, a mention of the late Andrew, the reason for revisiting his death one more time in the opening.

"Is there something so wrong in me feeling that this is home?" Joan asks Mr. Elementary just before they decide to go back to the insurance mystery.

Yes, Joan. Yes, there is. You could have a life, helping people with your medical skills, making friends, doing so many things besides fixating on this poor excuse for a consulting detective whom you don't seem to be in love with, yet are drawn to as obsessively as a Twilight vampire's girlfriend. Flee, Joan, flee like Kitty Winter did!

Hmm. Next Thursday is the "Victoria's Secret Swim Special" in this timeslot. Perhaps this is Elementary's attempt to keep up with Sherlock's upcoming Victorian era Christmas special -- Queen Victoria's lingerie chain having a special all its own.

Oh, wait! The killer's sister is solving the murder ahead of Mr. Elementary and Joan. Those two ladies could have fought it out and saved us a trip to that dreary NYPD interrogation room and the extensive and over-complicated explanation of the killer's motive.

Come on, letter from Jamie Moriarty!

Dear Joan,
         I see you have moved back in with the only man whose brain is my equal, and that you're both spending more time in that basement that I didn't know existed at his house. You seem to have the intention of making it your play-detective office, in the manner of those teenagers who move into their parents basement and pretend it's an apartment. 
        Don't you wish you could hear my voice reading you a letter right now, to tease your much-abused readers of that blog/book/manuscript-on-a-destroyed-computer that you never seem to spend any time writing? 
        Enjoy your basement.
              Happily in a prison far from New York City,
                   Jamie Moriarty, a.k.a. Irene Adler, a.k.a. "Cressida be making bank, bee-yotch!"

Yes, tonight's Elementary did wind up in the basement. No other comment needed.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, wait! The killer's sister is solving the murder ahead of Mr. Elementary and Joan. This tweet from The Elementary Writers eplains it "We're trying a 'format-buster' this week. You know the killer before Sherlock! Now, instead of asking 'who,' see if you can figure out *why*" The only *why* I want to figure out Elementary Writers is *why* this show is still on the air! Keep up these fun "Elementary" blogs Brad, they are much more entertaining than the show.