Sunday, March 3, 2019

Don't talk to me about the "olds!"

Man, you know these inter-social media-webs, and the ruckus that goes on there.

I catch a lot of it on the periphery, and don't dive in too deep to these things, because, man, there are some real troubles afoot and none of them actually have to do with Sherlock Holmes. But every now and then, a topic comes up that really cranks my tail-spine, y'know, and I just have to say a few words about it.


I hear there is some ruckus about the "youngs" of fandom not appreciating the "olds," and kind thinking they get in the way. Well, as you probably know, I'm one of those and I have some opinions.

The olds really are a pain to us youngs. I mean, how many times do I have to hear Vinnie effin' Starrett going on about how the world is going to explode and just Sherlock Holmes and John H. Watson will be the only ones left? We had better hope they're gay, because otherwise, the nights are going to get a little cold on those fragments of London left floating in space. Vincent Starrett, you're a hundred and thirty-one years old! Give it a rest with your apocalyptic tales of our fandom's demise!

Sherlock Holmes fandom has SUCH freakin' old people in it!

Christopher Morley . . . a hundred and eighteen years old and still making people WALK to some kind of NYC oyster bar in the middle of winter! HEY CHRIS! Jimmy Buffet is seventy-one and you know what he gets people to do? EAT CHEESEBURGERS IN PARADISE!!! PARADISE!! Arriving in tropical ports and not smoking Havanas, eating bananas, or drinking daiquiris! Eating cheeseburgers! In paradise!

Oh, and it gets worse.

Our fandom's old people are so durned old that the crossover fanfic has Solomon, Socrates, and Confucius with Sherlock Holmes. Yes, I'm talking about you, Bangs. One hundred and fifty-six years old and using a hair-style your forehead could not even produce as your fanfic pseudonym! (Though I guess "John Kendrick Skinhead" would not have aged well at all.)

And yes, I'm leaving the old ladies of fandom out of this, because they can be just MEAN. If you don't like their opinions, they'll put them in books and title the books Unpopular Opinions, just to get a dig at you for not liking their opinions.

Our olds never seem to go away. It's almost like Sherlockiana is keeping them alive with blood transfusions from the immortal Sherlock Holmes himself! (Wait . . . is that a master vampire thing? I might want to get in on some of that action eventually. I should probably quit kav. . . )

Never mind. Going back to the periphery now. Let's just keep this post between us.

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