Don't say it. Don't say it . . . "Elementary 2.0." Dammit!

Sigh. I'm in trouble.

Whilst the Holmes and Watson war rages on, the creative world has decided to lob another Sherlock salvo that's going to get me in trouble for not being "All Holmes is good Holmes!" again.

Stupid Sherlock Holmes, when done by a Will Ferrell, is parody. Comedy. Silliness.

Stupid Sherlock Holmes, when done as a serious procedural or drama, is just bad Sherlock Holmes . . . to my mind. Because it robs him of his prime virtue, and instead of parodying him for fun, actually lessens him to make him more palatable to those who cannot stand to think that anyone might be smarter than they. And to make Sherlock Holmes as mass market as possible, you have to smooth those genius edges down and show that other folks can be just as smart as he is.

So when Howard Ostrom passed along a story from Cultbox this morning, and the description of a new Netflix show called "The Irregulars" ran like this:

"Sherlock Holmes had a group of street kids he'd use to help him gather clues so our series is what if Sherlock was a drug addict and a delinquent and the kids solve the whole case while he takes the credit."

Even the good Carter had to shake her fist at the ceiling on that one, and she's my emotional dampening rod. As a comedy or parody, that concept would be fine . . . we saw that in Michael Caine's Sherlock turn Without A Clue. But to make a show that sounds a lot like the BBC's Shameless (which I loved) where the children in a family had to prop up their missing drunk of a father and replace that father with Sherlock Holmes . . . well . . . .

It's the basic problem I had with CBS's Elementary cranked up to eleven.

So, yes, I'm pre-judging. And yes, I've just become everything I preached against regarding Holmes and Watson. And that is not a recipe for a good morning, especially pre-Christmas when we're all a little more stressed, a little more emotional, and a little more . . . oh, wait, the spirit of Christmas! That's it! Somebody sing me a carol or send me some ghosts to right my brain and fill me with forgiveness and kindness toward TV shows I don't like, past, present, or future.

Oh, no! My own personal Christmas Carol is taking place real-time with the ghosts of TV shows and movies, isn't it? Elementary is the ghost of media Sherlock past, Holmes and Watson the ghost of media Sherlock present, and The Irregulars is the ghost of media Sherlocks yet to come, with Howard Ostrom as my Jacob Marley.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!   Can I just buy someone a goose and get this over with?